Dear Drake: A Letter from Lara


Dear Nathan:

Is it Nathan or Nate? Either way, hi. I guess we haven’t officially met, but my name’s Lara. Lara Croft. Maybe you’ve heard of me? Anyway, I wanted to let you know that I recently played through your Playstation 3 game Uncharted, and I thought it appropriate to drop you a note.

Thanks for totally biting my style. I MEEN I RAID TOMBS DOOD JEEZ. That’s my thing. Playing through your game was exactly like playing through one of my games. Shoot some dudes, navigate some catacombs, solve a thousand-year-old puzzle, shoot some more dudes. Rinse, admire the realistic water physics, repeat.

Wait, I should clarify, playing your Uncharted game was just like playing one of my Tomb Raider games, EXACTLY like playing one of my Tomb Raider games, except for one thing — YOUR GAME IS GOOD. My game hasn’t been good since Tomb Raider 2, and was it even good then? I mean, I had boobs, but when you look past that, does anything else stand out?

Mr. Drake, sir, you make it good. You make an adventure seem like an adventure. You have wit and charm and you seem like a cool dude. You’re like John McClaine, if instead of being in that tower in Die Hard, he was rummaging through Tombs. I loved the interplay between you and your love interest. I cared about the story, but not so much that it got in the way of the gameplay. I never got frustrated by the controls, which is amazing, because I’ve broken three controllers out of anger while playing my own games.

Rarely, upon finishing a game, do I have the urge to start it right back up from the start — hell, there were two of my own games that I never even bothered to finish — but with Uncharted? I wanted to pop it right back in and start it on a harder difficulty. My butler keeps telling me that Uncharted 2 is even better, which I can’t even imagine, so I fired him. The funny thing is, part of me hopes that he’s right, because gosh I can’t wait to play another Uncharted adventure. Also, I hope he’s right so that I can rehire him and have a butler again. Chores are hard!

Well, I should go, I’m sure the guys back at the office are trying in vain to reboot my franchise, even though it’ll never be as good as yours.

Hugs and kisses and unlimited pistol ammo,

Lara

–and intercepted by Adam Dorsey

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